My heart can only take so much.

I don't even know where to start.  I don't want to add any coal to the fire, so I'm not going to state any names or details.  I am still trying to make sense of what has been said about me.  I have shown Todd and others around me what is being said, let them read the e-mails, and they were just as shocked as I was.  No one can figure out where this stuff is coming from.  It's incredibly outrageous!  Yet it is being said of me.  How very nice.  My thoughts are that they are just trying to destroy my Thanksgiving.  And also try to distract me enough from school work that I'll get bad grades because they are jealous that I am actually doing something with my life?  That's my take on the whole thing.  Though I don't know.  Like I said, everyone I have shown the e-mails to just can't believe it and thinks it is outrageously ridiculous.  But with that said, now I'm trying to decide what to do for Thanksgiving.  I'm already going to be at my Mom's, I'm thinking about just staying there for my whole Thanksgiving break.  I'm not going to have my holiday ruined by being tense and having to watch my back the whole time.  I can relax and be myself at my Mom's.  So I think that is what I'm going to do.  Even though some say that I'm "running away"  I don't care.  I want to enjoy myself over my break, not be constantly stressed out.  So, yeah, maybe it's running away, but at least I will be having a good time doing it!  I'm just so done with trying, so done with giving my heart out just to have it put in a blender, so done with all the drama and everything!  Therefore I will never be around when they are.  I tried my best, that's all I can do... But since it has resulted in this, I think it's time that I just disappear.  If they want to believe all of the lies, I guess this is good-bye.  I'm not leaving for good, just whenever they are coming over, Betsey and I will stay at my Mom's.  It's settled, it's done, I'm done...  My heart has been broken too many times.  I just can't take it, my heart will not be squashed by you again.  I am not going to let it.  Sorry, but I'm not.