Ugh.. My stomach doesn't like me today...

So, I should have left this house three hours ago to get to Dad's.  But seeing as how sick my stomach is feeling, I'm waiting to see if this goes away first.  If it's a bug, I don't want to be the one that ruins everyone's holidays by passing a bug around.  I know that I was taught to share, but this is something that I'd like to keep to myself!

I so can't wait for Christmas!  To watch Betsey open presents all by herself this year will be amazing!  Though I should say Christmas Eve, since that is when Grandpa (my Dad) has his celebration.  Normally, I would be looking forward to the yummy food, too... But right now thinking about food makes my tummy churn even worse... o_O  I really hope this goes away QUICKLY so that we can be on our way!  Just got a few things to throw in the car and I need to jump in the shower.

I will miss Todd something fierce, though.  Betsey and I will be away a whole week this time.  I wonder how she'll handle it?  I'm sure she will be fine.  Bandit, Dad's dog, will keep her busy.  :-)

Well, this certainly isn't helping my stomach or my head, so I'm going to get off of here and try to go ahead and finish getting ready.  That way, when my tummy decides to stop doing flips, we'll be ready to just walk out of the door!

Please, stomach, BE NICE TO ME!!!

~Nikki~

My heart can only take so much.

I don't even know where to start.  I don't want to add any coal to the fire, so I'm not going to state any names or details.  I am still trying to make sense of what has been said about me.  I have shown Todd and others around me what is being said, let them read the e-mails, and they were just as shocked as I was.  No one can figure out where this stuff is coming from.  It's incredibly outrageous!  Yet it is being said of me.  How very nice.  My thoughts are that they are just trying to destroy my Thanksgiving.  And also try to distract me enough from school work that I'll get bad grades because they are jealous that I am actually doing something with my life?  That's my take on the whole thing.  Though I don't know.  Like I said, everyone I have shown the e-mails to just can't believe it and thinks it is outrageously ridiculous.  But with that said, now I'm trying to decide what to do for Thanksgiving.  I'm already going to be at my Mom's, I'm thinking about just staying there for my whole Thanksgiving break.  I'm not going to have my holiday ruined by being tense and having to watch my back the whole time.  I can relax and be myself at my Mom's.  So I think that is what I'm going to do.  Even though some say that I'm "running away"  I don't care.  I want to enjoy myself over my break, not be constantly stressed out.  So, yeah, maybe it's running away, but at least I will be having a good time doing it!  I'm just so done with trying, so done with giving my heart out just to have it put in a blender, so done with all the drama and everything!  Therefore I will never be around when they are.  I tried my best, that's all I can do... But since it has resulted in this, I think it's time that I just disappear.  If they want to believe all of the lies, I guess this is good-bye.  I'm not leaving for good, just whenever they are coming over, Betsey and I will stay at my Mom's.  It's settled, it's done, I'm done...  My heart has been broken too many times.  I just can't take it, my heart will not be squashed by you again.  I am not going to let it.  Sorry, but I'm not.

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I'm sitting here waiting for Betsey to wind down to go to bed. Not feeling to great... I have a heap of homework to still catch up on.  Not only that, but Grandma Smith is back into the ICU.  :-(  Please keep praying for her! 

My X-rays didn't show anything that the doctor could see.  He has to send them to radiology, and if they come back as "normal" then he's going to send me to a "hand specialist".  My TB test reading is normal, but since it is a two step, I have to have it done again next week.  My scrubs (for those who don't know, that is what you call a nurse's uniform) came in the mail today.  So all's I'm waiting on is my instructor to e-mail me back telling me whether or not my white shoes that have a little grey on them are going to be acceptable or not.  I'm not sure since I found out that some schools are really strict about PURELY white shoes... So, hoping to hear back from her soon so that I can get different shoes before class starts if necessary.

Here's a pic of my official student name tag... (Forgive the scary mug shot of me! lol)

Well... I have got A LOT of homework to do, so I'm going to get off of here and get Betsey to bed so that I can get to it... Again... I've GOT to get caught up over this weekend!!!  I'm starting to freak out!!!

Time for homework!

So, it's 12:14am... Time to try to catch up on homework.  I want to get ahead again because I want to go visit Grandma Smith this weekend again.

I'm freaking out because my CNA classes start this coming Monday!  I'm excited and nervous all at the same time!  How in the world am I going to handle the extra course load?  I have no idea, but I do know that I will figure it out and will be able to handle it!  Wish me luck!

I am so happy that Grandma Smith is out of intensive care!  She's not all clear, yet, but God has healed her so much!  Keep praying so that she will be completely healed and able to leave the hospital and go home!  I love her so much and want her to have time with Betsey, her only great-grandchild!

Well, I need to get working on homework so that I can be free this weekend!  YAY!!!

PS  Also pray that I can find the money for gas somewhere so that I can make it back up to Morris to see Grandma!

Thank you so much everyone for your prayers!!! Don't stop!!! Keep praying!!! God is listening!!!  He is awesome!!!  :-)

Tomorrow is the 2nd half of my 2-step TB test and the X-rays on my right wrist.  I don't know if he'll X-ray my left one or not, but he might if it's as he thinks it is.  He thinks that I broke my wrists at 7 years old and they healed wrong. :-(  If it requires surgery I'm going to beg him to approve me for my CNA classes and have the surgery after.  Ah, I'm sure I'll be fine! :-)  Following the doctor's orders I ordered a wrist brace for my right wrist.  It will be annoying, but it will keep me from aggravating it.  **sigh**  I just want to know what's going on in my wrists, especially my right one.. Which seems to be getting worse and worse each day now.. :-(  I'm hoping that he can tell me something straight away tomorrow, but I'm betting that I'm going to have to wait.  I wonder if they'd let me get a sneak peak at my x-rays before they send them off?  We'll see!

Ok, now homework!

Not enough time in the day

So, I'm kinda in a hurry right now.  Got 10 minutes before I have to take Betsey to her appointment.

I'm just trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to catch up on homework.  It's so hard to focus right now with everything that is going on.  I wish I was back up north with my Dad.  I want to see Grandma Smith again.  :-(  Keep praying for her!

I still have to get laundry done at some point, read an entire book and do a book report, study for the nutrition quiz, and study for the math quiz that I have to take tonight.


There is just not enough time in a day to get everything done.  Tomorrow I go in for the 2nd part of my TB test and to get X-rays on my wrist.

I am still trying to figure out how to get back up to my Dad's this weekend.  I don't have school Friday, so I'm thinking I'll go up there then.  But it all depends on if we have enough money for gas.  Speaking of money, it's really cut thin now because I had to pay for my scrubs, wrist watch, white shoes, and white socks for my CNA classes.

That reminds me, I need to take a picture of the shoes that I got and send it to my instructor.  I don't know whether she will allow them or not because they have a little bit of grey on them.  If she doesn't allow them, I don't know how I'm going to afford anything else...  The ones that I got were only $10 and that's about all I can afford.  Plus the two trips to Chillicothe for my doctor's appointments, the trip to Lacon for Betsey's appointment, and back and forth in between school... Ugh... I hope that I have enough money for gas just for the rest of this week!  That's another thing... I still have to get a name tag from the records office at school... And I don't know if that's going to cost anything or not...

Well, it's 1pm... I gotta get going if we're going to make it to Betsey's appointment.  Let the rat race of today begin!

Pray for my Grandma Smith!!!

So, I'm trying this new blog site out.  So far I think it's pretty cool.  Though I don't know if I know anyone else on here...

Anyway... Today I woke up around 3am and it is now 7:11am and I'm mostly wide awake still.  But I know that I should try to get a least a little sleep before Betsey wakes or I am going to feel like total crap later.

For anyone that comes across this blog..  Please, please pray for my Grandma Smith!!!  She is in the hospital in intensive care (ICU) and is fighting pneumonia and pancreatitis.  Both of which are life-threatening.  Thank you so much for all of your prayers!!!  They really are helping!!! God is awesome!!!  He is listening!!! Keep praying and don't stop!!!  Thank you!!!

As of right now, I'm going to maybe read for a few minutes and then try to get a nap in before Betsey wakes up.  :-)  I will post regularly on here!  That is the one thing that facebook is missing, a spot to blog.  So I'm really liking this right now!  I will definitely be on here blogging later!  I love blogging!